Many,
many thanks for the fantastic comments in response to my previous post. I am
reproducing two comments for your perusal and comment.
carol l mckenna === quote----
We are all connected ~ Our parents
give us life and whether they take good care of us or not ~ to honor them in
old age by helping them in some way is a blessing both for the parent and adult
children. Yet many parents do not want to be a burden to their children; yet,
when the time comes they can no longer care for themselves their child or
children are the ones to become the caregivers. It is a part of the cycle of
birth, life, death. I was honored to take care of my parents and walk with them
through the dying process.
Unquote------- Caroll emphatically
says that children should help parents in some way whether they took good care of
the children or not.
NASHVILLECATS ------quote -------Excellent
topic and very much a subject in my life right now, I desperately need a little
support from my children at the moment, but the two who live nearest me haven't
spoken in years. My other son lives in Spain so is unable to help.
Despite emails to my other two they have fallen on deaf ears.==== unquote
Despite emails to my other two they have fallen on deaf ears.==== unquote
You can see how irresponsible some
children can be when need arises.
Caroll Mckenna and Nashvillecats are
fabulous bloggers. Please do not hesitate to visit them by clicking on their
names. They will be delighted to reciprocate and be your good friends.
There is good news for parents in
India.
India is probably the first country
in the world to enact a law to help parents to get a monthly allowance from
irresponsible children. Most of my friends will be surprised to read this but
this is a fact.
Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 is a
legislation enacted in 2007, initiated by Ministry of Social Justice
and Empowerment, Government of India., to provide more effective provision
for maintenance and welfare of parents and senior citizens. This Act make it a
legal obligation for children and heirs to provide maintenance to senior
citizens and parents, by monthly allowance. This Act also provides simple,
speedy and inexpensive mechanism for the protection of life and property of the
older persons. After being passed by the parliament of India received the assent of President of India on December 29, 2007 and was
published in the Gazette of India on December 31, 2007.
Indian society lays high importance on providing care and protection for parents and elderly. Withering of joint family system has contributed to the challenges faced by elderly. Nowadays they are forced to live alone and are exposed to various kinds of problems such as lack of physical, social, emotional and financial support.
The first case under the act was filed in November 2011 by Siluvai (age 84) and his wife Arulammal (age 80) of Tuticorin against their son and daughter-in-law for neglect, besides taking away their two homes and gold jewellery.
Although this law is in existence many poor parents are reluctant to approach the courts for monthly allowance from their irresponsible children because they don’t want fight a case against their own flesh and blood. In the process they suffer silently while their children are pursuing their goals and happiness.
I am sure you have some interesting thoughts on this Indian law to safe guard parents.
Interesting. It's almost like a tax, or pension tax. I would not mind being paid a "tax" by my children if they earn enough and I am of a certain age I guess this "pension tax" would have to be assessed on a case-by-case basis. As usual, you have given us a lot to think about.
ReplyDeleteGreetings from London.
Thanks Joseph for printing my comment:
ReplyDeleteI move on Wednesday, apart from the removal man I have no one to help.
Still no word from the two here in the UK, but John in Spain and wife Kelly are flying over at the end of April to visit friends and though they are staying with daughter they will come and see my new abode.
I am glad to hear of a country that is taking care of the elderly! Good for India
ReplyDeleteThis has been an enlightening debate. Not all children are in a position financially support their aged parents. Then there are those who choose not to. And there are those who give up everything to take care of their parents as well as other family members. I hope they are the ones who are rewarded.
ReplyDeleteWhat a fascinating concept! I'd never heard about such a law before. I agree with A Cuban In London that you've given a lot to think about.
ReplyDeleteit is interesting...and i wonder if many parents would see it enforced...or let the children go on with their lives leaving them behind...and how the enforcement of it would affect the chance of a relationship with the family going forward....
ReplyDeleteIt seems to me the financial burden should mainly be with the state, however the most valuable aspect from a 'child' is the ongoing love and support of their parents through the time they give to them. A very interesting topic which will have some strong opinions..
ReplyDeleteIt is good to know that India has initiate this law, that every parent will be taken care of. It is very sad to hear of children who are doing well and yet do not care for their parents. I have also heard of unreasonable parents demanding and oppressing their struggling children to meet their expensive lifestyle and the children gave in through false guilt. Life is so complicating.
ReplyDeleteThis is going to be the most interesting thing I read all day! I'm not sure how I feel about it. I'll have to give this some thought.
ReplyDeleteThis is very interesting Joseph. I would imagine it would be very difficult to actually apply this law and, as you mention, many parents would be be loath to use it because it might reflect on their upbringing of the children. I'm like Martha ... I need to give it some thought.
ReplyDeleteThis is a thought provoking post. I also will have to contemplate this new idea. Thank you for sharing this and helping me broaden my mind. Have a fabulous day.
ReplyDeleteHello, I enjoyed your interesting post. The comments you posted from the others is so very sad. Unfortunately, sometimes, parents and children forget about each other. I so agree with you that we should take care of our parents and our children should help us when we get older. Although we have not reached a point of needing help, we are blessed with thoughtful children. Enjoyed visiting here!
ReplyDeletethis is interesting. even though i do think that children should take care of their parents when they can, i'm not sure i'd agree to make it a legal obligation. surely there should be another way that could help to prevent either parents or children taken advantage of the other. but then again, i think these are difficult issues to make laws about:-) x
ReplyDeleteThought provoking topics on your blog ~ Once again to reiterate ~ Parents give us life ~ would seem only natural to me to honor the gift of life by making sure that parents are cared for in their aging years ~ That is what I was taught as a child ~ And lived as an adult when I took care of parents, husbands, an aunt ~ The 'times they are changing' and the world has their priorities backwards ~ 'Stuff, things' when you die are meaningless ~ It is how you love and care for yourself, people, animals and the earth that is important. Leaving the earth better than you found it ~ blessings to all ~ namaste, carol
ReplyDeleteIndeed, an interesting topic and law. I wonder what could be the penalty for those children who won't adhere to the imposition of this law.
ReplyDeleteI hope every child would realize that they are the precious gem of their parents and that parents too are responsible for whatever their child has become so whether a child would be respectful and caring on their parents is all depends on how they were raised. so I guess it all begun in a responsible parenting that children be responsible with their parents too at the end of the day.
thanks for dropping by at my blog too. :-D
I sympathize with Nashvillecats2 and find his condition heart wrenching. I cannot envision a future where I will be of advanced age and no relative of mine will even care for my well being. Though I am basically an independent person, "family" has "ties that bind". No court shall underline these inherent connections, as it shouldn't be mandated by law but by human nature. I shall reiterate that family should take care of each other, i.e. parents and children alike. What is the world coming to when parents would have to "beg" for a little care, a little help. If not for help, there should be compassion (one of Pope Francis' message when he visited the Philippines). As for the Indian law, I am sure most people won't insist financial help from their children out of "delicadeza" because it's just not right. As to the children who turn their backs from their parents, God help them.
ReplyDeleteThis is a very thought provoking post, Joseph. Lots to think about here. Thank you so much for sharing.
ReplyDeleteThat's good news for parents and children I guess. Somehow there's a win-win situation. Parents being secured and children learning to be more responsible and empathetic with adults.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to stir the pot a little. I don't think I would ever want my children to have to support me financially. I don't believe any law should require them to do so. There are plenty of financial assistance programs in the United States, so I would rather apply for those if it became necessary, rather than burden my children.
ReplyDeleteI do think it is our obligation to help our parents when they need it. They brought us into this world and helped us when we couldn't help ourselves...
ReplyDeleteI have never considerd a concept such as this. How terrible it would be to have to drag your own children into court, but if it meant that or suffering then it must be done. Such a difficult issue.
ReplyDeleteIt's unfortunate that the world has come to this. It's too bad the world (not all) has rejected God's commands for healthy and happy living, which included 'Honour your father and mother ...".
ReplyDeleteIt is fascinating to see how different countries handle the issue of aging.
ReplyDeleteI didnt know about this enactment at all.
ReplyDeleteI am sad that a law is needed to mandate that children must take care of their parents - if not emotionally, monetarily. Isn't that a basis of life - an opportunity to thank them?
Our parents helped us when we couldn't take care of ourselves. It only seems right that we should do the same for them.
ReplyDeleteIndia had done something good to protect the rights of the elderly. I, myself, have seen how my own siblings are treating my dad badly when all of them, were dependent on him for a very, long time. I believe that we reap what we sow.
ReplyDeleteI don't know how children do such things to their parents ... this is a good step by the Indian Legal System.
ReplyDeleteI think children should help their parents if they can, especially if they're doing well. I'm sad that there needs to be a law about it. However, in many cases, children can't help their parents financially, but they can be there in other ways and I hope that they will also do this voluntarily. It's very interesting that India has enacted this law.
ReplyDeleteChildren are precious gift from God. But, their parents doesn't own them. They are free to be on their own soon as their parents were discharged from their obligation with them. Is caring for their olds an option? I think it's not mandatory but it is their moral duty to do so,
ReplyDeleteHi Joseph! My wife and I decided not to have children so what I say here may not carry much substance for you or other readers. But here is my thought: If raised with love and care a child should grow up to want to return that love and care for their old parents. If this does not happen, I have to wonder if the flaw is not in the way the parents raised the children. So, perhaps they are seeing that old saying in effect, What goes around, comes around ... OR, in this case, What doesn't go around, doesn't come around. What do you think about this? John
ReplyDeleteI agree with you John. But if the children are doing well, they should not hesitate to part with some money to their old parents if it is needed. Many children have imagined grievances against their parents and refuse to help. In such cases, the parents have no option but to go to court to get a monthly allowance from their children who are doing well. I don't see anything wrong in this. Best wishes.
Deletevery interesting new law. I hope I would never have to use it.
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a really interesting law, and one I'm a little surprised never really came about sooner. On the other hand though I don't like legislating for things that should be a given so find it a little sad we've reached the point we have laws saying children HAVE to help their parents. I can understand why people would find it difficult to come forward and seek the legislations use though. It doesn't really end the suffering in silence a lot of poor parents go through, but it does help provide an out should they be desperate enough. Go India.
ReplyDeleteAmen!
DeleteThis is one of the reasons I suck up to my son and daughter.
Because, well, you never know.
Taking care of your elderly parents....a tragedy we need a law, huh?
ReplyDeleteHello Joseph, it is good to meet you and thank you for dropping by my blog today.
ReplyDeleteVery thought-provoking post here. I would like to think that children would support their parents if they could and not have to because the law stated they did. I do know that some children ignore and never communicate with their parents, so I guess this law could be a good one.
Bravo to India for taking a step forward. In my country (the USA) we have laws to protect children against abuse and neglect, but our laws protecting the frail elderly have been slow in catching up to the times. In a time when people are living to older ages and in much frailer health, it is a shame that the current generations don't feel the obligation that my generation felt toward caring for our parents. I am 62 and it is a fact that in 20 years I will be in this position, if I live that long. I would hope my children step up to the plate, and I think they would, because they are all responsible adults. But one never knows, and a law to safeguard care of parents is a good one I think.
ReplyDeleteWith so many people talking about the 'Bank of mum and dad' in which parents are subsidising their now adult children this makes for interesting reading.
ReplyDeleteYes Indian parents are reluctant to go to court against their children however ungrateful and uncaring they may be.Secondly some parents are also scared of their son/daughter/son in law/daughter in law,There are instances where parents have been killed by children/their agents for money/property.
ReplyDeletethat's too unfateful to parents and tragic for children. I wish children could be more compassionate and respectful to their parents. After all, they'll become parents too sooner or later ..
DeleteMy sister was an irresponsible child. She lived next door to my father on land he owned and in a house he built, yet she couldn't be bothered to take him to by groceries. If I hadn't flown 2,500 miles and brought him back to spend his last years with Peggy and me, my sister would have put him in a nursing home 300 miles from anyone he knew. Still, there are parents who don't deserve a damn thing from their children. Imagine being sexually abused by one or both parents, and then having to send them money every month.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to stop by and thank you for the really lovely comment on my blog... it was very much appreciated xox ♡
ReplyDelete