This is a comment written by Fred from Flying Embers in my other blog MY THOUGHTS,MY INSPIRATIONS.Fred is an inspirational writer and I have been visiting his blog for a very long time and drinking in the wisdom imparted by him in his wonderful posts.Please visit him and be inspired.
Once again you delve into subjects that cause one to stop and think, leaving the superficial issues of life and peering deep into the soul of man.
I have little confidence I can shed much light but I remember the echoes of those from the past that have faced these same questions and have given some insights which I will try and patch together here.
One must begin with St. Paul in his famous discourse in Romans 7 where he too struggled with the paradox of all who seek godliness. He ends his discourse with these words in versus 21–25 –
“So I find this law at work; when I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. Wretched man I am!
Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!”
His lament sounds much like your own, and mine as well. I heard it said that the one who seeks Holiness always feels he has done too little, and the one who doesn’t, says he has done too much.
John Owen sheds some light on this in this quote – “He is not a true believer to whom sin is not the greatest burden, sorrow and trouble.”
My only criticism in your “confession” is that the list of soul maladies is so much shorter than my own. When I see the pure light that Jesus walked in; the level of Holiness He displayed for the world to see; and the great love he showed for mankind, I can’t help but feel a bed of dust and ashes is the only place for me.
Ah! But our hope is in His great power to live and move through us in spite of our failings; and as you know, He never looks for perfection in all of our actions but accepts the small things we do for Him and makes big results by them; much like he takes the smallest herbs and overcomes the greatest diseases.
As Christians we cling to the hope that Christ’s blood shed on Calvary for our sins and failings and cleanses even the lowliest and gives hope to the hopeless.
Joseph, I appreciate your transparency and although you focus here on your shortcomings; I see throughout your blog the very things God is pleased with.