new year

new year
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Thursday, April 30, 2015


I agree that it is up to the couple to decide to have children or not. 

In this connection this is what RamaAnanth says ===== It is totally up to the two adults to decide whether they want or not. These days children have lots of responsibilities, they may not be in a position to think impulsively about having a child. Having a child and bringing it up is a full time, a full responsibility, it cannot be taken lightly.

This is what Renu writes against having children =====I think it should be couple's choice and I don't think having the children is necessary. Yes i agree they bring lot of joy in life but they bring more amount of misery and a whole life liability.
People want children because they themselves can love only their own, otherwise there are always good people around us, we don't need to have children to fill that void.

However, there are many wonderful reasons for having children.
Christine writes =====I think it's good to have one's own children whatever the outcome. I don't expect anything from them, and will try to make plans for my old age.

This is what Al Penwasser writes in support of having children =====I am so very happy that I have a son and daughter. It's more than just a narcissistic desire to perpetuate myself (a sort of immortality, I suppose). It's just that I wanted to give the world what I hope was a gift. The fact that I would feel the same if I adopted a child says that it IS more than narcissism. Maybe my children will make the world a better place?

Read what Serendipity writes in favor of having children ======I just have my child at the age of 33 and at 33 that I had only found the deeper and different joy in my life and only this time too had i thought to put a direction on my life. I have the best times of my life at 33. :-D

 She underlines the fact that children give joy to the couple and direction to their life.

 According to Laura it is good to have children in general.

This is what Sherry Ellis writes =======I think having children is part of the circle of life. That's not to say you can't have a fulfilling life without them. But for me, I am grateful for my children, and I love them dearly. I couldn't imagine not having them.

Sherry underlines the fact that it is a circle of life to have children and she is grateful for her children.

Read what Jade Wright has to say about having children. ======I don't believe in waiting for the right moment for a baby and waiting until you have enough money - because lets face it, that is NOT going to happen! No one EVER has enough money for a baby but when it happens, we make a plan. We adapt.
Likewise I don't believe we should fear death as a reason to not have children. One day everyone days.. and to me that is the circle of life.

Ratty ====== I think it's a good thing to have kids no matter how they turn out. As long as you raised them the best you could, you know that something of you will live on in them.

Please click on the names of the above wonderful bloggers to read their blogs and write comments. I am sure you will become good friends.

What do you think?
Is it good to have children although they may not take care of the parents?

Are we giving a gift to the world when we have children?

Will our children make the world a better place?
Will the couple be grateful to the children?

Will our children give us joy and direction to our lives?

Should we have enough money before having children?

Is it a circle of life to have children?
Do you think that something of the parents will live on in the children?

Sunday, March 15, 2015


I would like to start with a real life incident.

 A father admitted in the ICU of a hospital was dying. His wife who was waiting outside the ICU was brought in to see him. She was looking very sad and distressed. He opened his eyes looked at her and told her he wanted to see his son. Although it was not allowed to make a call inside the ICU, she was given special permission. She called her son and told him to come soon to the hospital, since the dying father wanted to see him. Then she looked at her husband and told him that the son will come immediately. The father nodded his head and lay quietly with his eyes closed. His breathing was becoming more and more difficult. After sometime with great difficulty he opened his eyes and asked for the son. The mother once again called the son on the mobile and spoke to him. Then she told her husband that he is stuck up in a traffic jam and would come quickly. The father nodded his head but he was finding it difficult to breathe. Soon there was a loud chortling sound in his throat as though he was choking and breathed his last without seeing his son. The wife started wailing. After a little while a stretcher was wheeled in and the dead body was taken to the cold storage to be released when the son turns up at the hospital.

What do you think the father was thinking at the time of dying? Can you not feel the pain and anguish he must have been feeling at not seeing his son at the time of his death?

Well, the son will come to claim the dead body, arrange the funeral, accept the condolences of those present at the funeral and carry on with his life as usual.

If this is the case, why should we have children?

Here are some extracts from interesting comments in my previous posts.

 I have three children and all were married but one chose not to have children. I am happy to say that she and her husband just celebrated 25 years of marriage and don't feel any loss because they give so much time and love to others. I guess it's a choice that only the couple can make ...that is if they live in a country that allows open thinking.

Ginnie says that one of her children chose not to have children and they have celebrated 25 years of marriage and they don’t feel any loss at not having children.

John    -----A very interesting post and representative of the changing world we live in. It is hard to imagine though missing out on the absolute joy of being a parent and holding that precious bundle in your arms for the first time. It does require work and sacrifice and each parent and child is different, it all comes down to choices!

John talks of the absolute joy of being a parent and holding the precious bundle in your arms.

Christine ------ I feel it's good to have your own kids if you can, even adoption is a good thing.

Christine says if you can’t have your own children, it is a good idea to adopt.

Ramakrishnan Ramanathan--------- some parents are also scared of their son/daughter/son in law/daughter in law. There are instances where parents have been killed by children/their agents for money/property.

Such terrible things do happen some times. I remember an old lady selling tea telling me that her eldest son who is a drunkard, frequently comes to the tea shop and tries to strangle her because she has not given his share of the property.

Cathy Tittle  -----a law to safeguard care of parents is a good one I think.

Al Penwasser  ====Taking care of your elderly parents....a tragedy we need a law, huh?

If it is a tragedy to have a law to support elderly parents, then why should we have children?

jonathan  ------India had done something good to protect the rights of the elderly. I, myself, have seen how my own siblings are treating my dad badly when all of them, were dependent on him for a very, long time.

Jonathan comes out with another instance of children treating the parent badly

Shamu Boo -------I have never considered a concept such as this. How terrible it would be to have to drag your own children into court, but if it meant that or suffering then it must be done. Such a difficult issue.

Shamu Boo thinks that it is terrible to drag children to court.

Please click on the names of these excellent bloggers to visit them. I am sure they will be thrilled and reciprocate.

All this boils down to one question. If we can be happy without having children, if the state has to enact a law to get an allowance from children, if the children are not going to take care of their old parents voluntarily out of love, if the parents are going to feel terrible to drag their children to court, if the children are going to misbehave and ill treat their old parents, then, would it not be better not to have children?

I hope you will put on your thinking caps and write a detailed comment on this interesting subject. Please let your thoughts flow.

Sunday, February 22, 2015


Many, many thanks for the fantastic comments in response to my previous post. I am reproducing two comments for your perusal and comment.

carol l mckenna === quote---- We are all connected ~ Our parents give us life and whether they take good care of us or not ~ to honor them in old age by helping them in some way is a blessing both for the parent and adult children. Yet many parents do not want to be a burden to their children; yet, when the time comes they can no longer care for themselves their child or children are the ones to become the caregivers. It is a part of the cycle of birth, life, death. I was honored to take care of my parents and walk with them through the dying process.

Unquote------- Caroll emphatically says that children should help parents in some way whether they took good care of the children or not.

NASHVILLECATS ------quote  -------Excellent topic and very much a subject in my life right now, I desperately need a little support from my children at the moment, but the two who live nearest me haven't spoken in years. My other son lives in Spain so is unable to help.
Despite emails to my other two they have fallen on deaf ears.==== unquote

You can see how irresponsible some children can be when need arises.

Caroll Mckenna and Nashvillecats are fabulous bloggers. Please do not hesitate to visit them by clicking on their names. They will be delighted to reciprocate and be your good friends.

There is good news for parents in India.

India is probably the first country in the world to enact a law to help parents to get a monthly allowance from irresponsible children. Most of my friends will be surprised to read this but this is a fact.

Maintenance and Welfare of Parents and Senior Citizens Act, 2007 is a legislation enacted in 2007, initiated by Ministry of Social Justice and Empowerment, Government of India., to provide more effective provision for maintenance and welfare of parents and senior citizens. This Act make it a legal obligation for children and heirs to provide maintenance to senior citizens and parents, by monthly allowance. This Act also provides simple, speedy and inexpensive mechanism for the protection of life and property of the older persons. After being passed by the parliament of India received the assent of President of India on December 29, 2007 and was published in the Gazette of India on December 31, 2007.

Indian society lays high importance on providing care and protection for parents and elderly. Withering of joint family system has contributed to the challenges faced by elderly. Nowadays they are forced to live alone and are exposed to various kinds of problems such as lack of physical, social, emotional and financial support.

The first case under the act was filed in November 2011 by Siluvai (age 84) and his wife Arulammal (age 80) of Tuticorin against their son and daughter-in-law for neglect, besides taking away their two homes and gold jewellery.

Although this law is in existence many poor parents are reluctant to approach the courts for monthly allowance from their irresponsible children because they don’t want fight a case against their own flesh and blood. In the process they suffer silently while their children are pursuing their goals and happiness.

I am sure you have  some interesting thoughts on this Indian law to safe guard parents.